Santa is a Woman?
by Angelina K
Summary: Don't read if you believe in Santa :) Gordon mistakenly believes Santa Claus is a woman after he sees something unusual...


It was an average Christmas in the Tracy household. The farm in Kansas was gently dusted with powdered snow, and four of Jeff and Lucille's young boys were sitting in front of the television watching the local news station's 'Santa Tracking' program. They had already put out a glass of milk, a plate of cookies, and a handful of carrots for Santa and his reindeer in the living room.  
  
Scott, the eldest, watched the show purely for the fun of it. He didn't believe in Santa any more. John was borderline, but he figured it would be best to believe for one more year - he really wanted that new telescope. Virgil and Gordon, however, two of the three youngest of the Tracy family, jumped up off the floor as soon as they saw that Santa was in Canada already.  
  
"Dad, Dad! He's nearly here!" Virgil screamed, running for the stairs. "We have to go to bed!"  
  
Jeff came out of the bedroom down the hall where he'd been putting Alan, only just over a year and a half at the time, to bed. He smiled when he saw his brunette son, wearing blue pajamas with green dinosaurs plastered all over them, barreling towards him. He picked him up in his arms and headed back downstairs. "You're right, you do. Come on, Gordon, it's time to sleep."  
  
"But Daddy!" He whined. "I want to meet Santa and pet the reindeer!"  
  
Jeff smiled and lifted his son up with his other arm so that he was beside Virgil. "Maybe next Christmas, Gordon. Santa doesn't like it when people see him."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
Their father started up the stairs. "Because he likes being a secret. If you see him, he might not come back!" It was an easy tactic to make them stay in their beds, too.  
  
"How does he get to all the children in one night, Dad?" Virgil couldn't help but wonder.  
  
"He has very advanced technology, Virgil. Far more than you, or me, or even NASA." Virgil loved hearing about planes and space and anything technical, even though he was still young. He was a very bright kid.  
  
"So he can go real fast?"  
  
Jeff smiled. "That's right." He reached their bedroom and put Virgil down beside his bed, hoisting Gordon up onto the top bunk. "Make sure you go right to sleep, or else Santa won't come."  
  
"I'll sleep, I'll sleep!" He had never seen Gordon dive under the covers quite so fast.  
  
"Did you brush your teeth, Virgil?"  
  
The son that reminded him so much of his wife nodded and climbed beneath his own sheets as well.  
  
Jeff tucked them both in and shut the light off on his way out, going to tell Scott and John to pack in their game boys for the night. With some protest, he finally got them off to bed and was able to return to his own room.  
  
He sighed, sitting on the foot of the bed to take off his socks. "What a handful," he commented, though his voice was affectionate.  
  
His wife, Lucille, came out of the bathroom in her robe, smiling. "You're not the one who had to. . ."  
  
"I know, I know, give birth to all five." He grinned and stood, giving her a peck on the cheek. "You tell me that every time I say anything about them being anything less than perfect."  
  
She smiled some more. "That's because none of them are anything less than perfect."  
  
He chuckled. "I know that too." He got down on his knees and reached under the bed to get the box they had all the gifts hidden in. "Are you going to put them out this year, or shall I?"  
  
"You got to play Santa last year. It's my turn now." She unhooked her robe, wearing a red dress beneath it, a white belt over top. "I even have the outfit and everything."  
  
He shook his head. "Women will find any excuse to stop."  
  
She hit him on the arm as he stood up again, placing the box on the bed. "For your information, you got this dress for me for my birthday, and the belt has been in my closet untouched for nearly a year." She reached for the Santa hat sitting on the desk in the corner of the room and tucked her hair up beneath it for an extra touch of spirit.  
  
He smiled. "Trust me to forget." He kissed her gently. "Merry Christmas, Lucille."  
  
"Merry Christmas, Jeff." She kissed back before moving away and picking up the box, heading out the door with it to get to work. It had been a good half hour; she was sure the boys would be asleep by now.  
  
Carefully creeping down the stairs, she placed the carton down on the couch and selected a couple of brightly wrapped packages, setting them gently under the decorated tree. A few more followed and she stepped back to admire her work before lovingly adjusting a photo frame ornament of her and Jeff from their first Christmas together.  
  
Lucille was completely unaware of the pair of eyes on her from the kitchen.  
  
Having crept down the back stairs, Gordon had tiptoed through the hallway and into the kitchen, wanting to get a glimpse of Santa Claus. He never saw her face, so he had no way of knowing it was only his mother, but he did see the red dress and the hat and a slight profile as she turned. Her hair was rolled up beneath the hat, so that gave nothing away either.  
  
But he knew one thing. . .  
  
Santa Claus was a woman!  
  
Gordon, shocked by the revelation, bolted quietly back up the stairs and climbed the ladder onto the top bunk, huddling beneath his covers. How could this be? Santa couldn't be a girl! It just wasn't possible! And where was her red bag? Instead she just had a big, ugly cardboard box!  
  
He fell into a restless sleep, sure his eyes must have been playing tricks on him.  
  
Meanwhile, downstairs, Lucille was finishing up her tidying, making sure everything was perfect for Christmas morning. She loved this time of year. It seemed to be when her family was most festive and happy.  
  
She had a couple bites of one cookie and downed half the glass of milk, taking the carrots and putting them back in the fridge. The boys were always so excited when they saw that Santa had liked their cookies, and that the reindeer had enjoyed their treats.  
  
Heading back upstairs to their bedroom, she found Jeff already sound asleep beneath the covers. She smiled and brushed a strand of hair out of his eyes before changing into her nightgown and sliding in beside him. He'd been working all day to try and finish up the yearly report for his company so he didn't have to work at all on Christmas. No wonder he was tired.  
  
But the next morning brought more than excitement. Gordon was the first to awake, just after six, and ran into their room yelling that he'd seen Santa. Lucille and Jeff groggily exchanged looks as they put on their housecoats.  
  
"You saw Santa, Gordon?"  
  
Their red-headed boy nodded energetically, appearing wide awake though it was still black outside. "I did, I did! But Dad. . ."  
  
"What is it, son?"  
  
"Santa Claus had. . .you know. . ." He used his hands to form two bumps on his chest, blushing.  
  
Jeff was trying not to laugh, though from behind Lucille could see his shoulders shake in the effort to hold it in. "Santa was a woman, you mean?"  
  
He nodded again and threw his arms around Jeff's leg. "But I saw her! She was a girl! Does this mean she won't come back next year?" He pouted, remembering what his father had said.  
  
Jeff smiled. "No, Gordon, I don't think she knows that you saw her."  
  
"Santa's not a girl, Gordon," Virgil announced, padding into the room, feet buried inside an old pair of slippers of John's. "Mrs. Claus is."  
  
"But Virgie, I saw her! She was putting the presents under the tree!"  
  
Virgil sighed, as if it was so difficult to explain things to his younger brother. "You saw wrong, Gordon. Santa couldn't be a woman."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Because if he was, he wouldn't be able to carry the big bag of presents everywhere! It would be too heavy!"  
  
Lucille knelt down to his level. "Virgil, women can be strong too, you know."  
  
"I know, Mom, but Santa is not a girl!"  
  
She just smiled at him and stood up again. "Enough arguing. Let's go see what Santa brought for you boys." She ruffled his hair affectionately before he and Gordon took off, their previous verbal battle forgotten.  
  
Scott and John were quick on their heels and Jeff went to go get Alan. Grandma was already making breakfast in the kitchen and the smell of coffee and eggs rose to greet them as Jeff and Lucille started down the stairs.  
  
Jeff allowed himself a quiet chuckle. "Apparently Gordon wasn't as asleep as we thought."  
  
She smiled slightly. "No, I guess not."  
  
They reached the living room and found a spot on the couch, four of their five sons sitting on the floor like cats ready to pounce. They always needed the go-ahead from their parents before they could start opening gifts.  
  
"Alright boys, you can open them now. But one at a time, remember." Lucille reached for the camera to catch these special moments on film.  
  
For twenty minutes it was a frenzy of flying paper, cries of delight, and joy all around. Lucille and Jeff sat beside each other on the couch, his arm around her shoulders, as they watched their five sons discover what the female Santa had brought for them this year.  
  
"I don't care if Santa is a woman," stated Virgil at the end. He had a new winter hat on his head and a plane with backward wings in his hands, painted a dark shade of green - an odd colour for a plane in Jeff's mind. "She has good taste!" 


End file.
